


Red Velvet

by bdol



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ice Cream, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 00:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11909517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bdol/pseuds/bdol
Summary: Drunk Ice Cream Man is an urban legend in Brooklyn who bears a striking resemblance to Alec.





	Red Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for shadowhunters. the season finale has me in withdrawal lmao
> 
> I have so much to do, and this started out as a simple warm up that soon ended up with a life of its own. I have an article and two fics to write before schools starts on tuesday whoops. oh well
> 
> I tried to proofread it, but I've probably missed something so I'll go over it again when it's not one in the morning

Alec had never been much of a drinker—partying had always been more of Jace and Izzy’s thing. Not to say that he hadn’t gone out with them once or twice when he was feeling unusually wound up, but he never remembered it in the morning. Jace and Izzy had assured him that he had nothing to worry about, that he hadn’t embarrassed himself, but he wasn’t sure that he truly believed them. How could he when he had no memory of those nights?

 

Nonetheless, he agreed to go out drinking with Jace and Izzy when they pestered him. He regretted that decision as soon as he heard that Clary and the mundane would be joining them, but it was too late to back out. Besides, he could always duck out early and head over to Magnus’ before he got drunk anyway.

 

“I wonder if we’ll see Drunk Ice Cream Man?” Simon wondered aloud, breaking Alec out of his reverie.

 

Isabelle and Jace stiffened slightly, but Alec didn’t notice as he turned to level Simon with a flat look, “What the hell are you talking about, mundane?”

 

“Figures you wouldn’t know,” Simon huffed, “And I’m not a mundane anymore.”

 

Alec rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”

 

“Drunk Ice Cream Man,” Simon answered with a grin, “Is a bit of an urban legend in Brooklyn. I saw him once, actually.”

 

Clary scoffed, “No, you didn’t.”

 

“Yes, I did,” Simon insisted, “I saw him climb up the side of a building one-handed while holding a tub of red velvet ice cream.”

 

“Sounds about right,” Jace snorted.

 

“Jace,” Isabelle said quietly, a warning clear in her voice.

 

“You know,” Simon continued, “Funny enough, he actually looked at lot like you, Alec.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean, mundane?” Alec grumbled, narrowing his eyes at Simon.

 

Simon ignored Alec’s dirty look and scratched at his chin, “He had your build and whatnot. He also had all sorts of tattoos, and, looking back, they kinda looked like runes. He was even the sa—”   

 

“Do you honestly think that a shadowhunter would be some sort of… mundane cryptid?” Isabelle interjected, “That’s ridiculous.”

 

Alec frowned, looking between them, “Is there something I’m missing here?”

 

“Nope,” Jace and Isabelle said in unison.

 

Alec raised an eyebrow, “Uh huh. Whatever you say.”

 

Just then Alec’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, glancing at it and answering with a smile, “Magnus.”

 

Alec walked away to take the call, a sappy look on his face as he wandered down the sidewalk. Even on the phone, Alec managed to talk with his hands. 

 

As soon as Alec was out of earshot, Clary grabbed Jace's arm, “It’s Alec, isn’t it?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jace replied, looking anywhere but Clary’s face.

 

Clary rolled her eyes, “You’re a terrible liar, Jace. How did it happen?”

 

“Wait, what?” Simon choked out, “Alec is Drunk Ice Cream Man?”

 

“Shut up,” Isabelle hissed at him, “He doesn’t know.”

 

Simon gaped at her, “You know he’s a legend, right? There are tons of stories of people from people who have seen a drunk tattooed guy wandering around in search of ice cream. I literally saw him climb a building one-handed.”

 

She grabbed his forearm, digging her nails in, “He can never know.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he would never leave the Institute again if he knew,” Jace answered.

 

Isabelle nodded, “If Alec knew half of the things he’s done while drunk, he’d have a stroke.”

 

“What do you mean?” Clary asked.

 

Jace glanced over at Alec to see if he was still on the phone. Alec was leaning against a brick wall and laughing into the phone while playing with the hem of his black t-shirt.

 

Jace turned back to her, “The only predictable thing about Drunk Alec is that he always wants ice cream. Other than that… it’s anyone’s guess what might happen.”

 

Simon furrowed his brow, “That was incredibly vague, and I’m gonna need you to elaborate.”

 

“One time, he wandered off, killed six demons, and then came back covered in ichor with a popsicle hanging out of his mouth, complaining that the store was all out of red velvet,” Jace replied.

 

“Another time, we found him passed out on a roof and surrounded by three empty tubs of red velvet ice cream,” Isabelle added.

 

Jace snorted, “Don't forget about the time you found him crying into his ice cream in a Denny’s parking lot because he was upset about snakes not having arms. He was insistent that they couldn’t fight demons without them.”

 

Isabelle sighed, “He wouldn’t listen to me when I told him that snakes don’t even fight demons. He ended up so agitated that Jace and I had to draw a sleep rune on him and carry him back to the Institute.”

 

“Drunk Alec is…” Jace paused, searching for an apt description.

 

“A cryptid that should remain unobserved,” Clary supplied.

 

Simon laughed, “And apparently obsessed with red velvet ice cream.”

 

“What about red velvet ice cream?” Alec asked as he rejoined them.

 

Jace slapped a hand over Simon’s mouth before he could answer, “We were talking about how there’s none left at the Institute, and that we should probably pick some up on our way back.”

 

Alec gave him a disbelieving look, “Don’t bother. Magnus keeps some in his freezer at all times.”

 

“Oh?” Isabelle prompted, attempting—and failing—to feign innocence.

 

Alec merely rolled his eyes instead of giving her a response.

 

* * *

 

Alec closed the door to the loft behind him, clumsily kicking his boots off by the door and hanging up his leather jacket. He only had two drinks, despite the others’ best attempts to try and get him drunk, so he was only mildly uncoordinated.

 

He made his way over to the couch, where Magnus was curled up with a book, swearing under his breath as he almost tripped over Chairman Meow.

 

“Watch it,” Magnus called out without looking up, “You remember the last time the Chairman was mad at you.”

 

“I do,” Alec chuckled, thinking back to the time when he accidentally stepped on one of Chairman Meow’s paws. He woke up the next morning to every piece of clothing he kept in Magnus’ closet completely shredded. While Magnus didn’t mind Alec’s lack of clothing, it had gotten to be frustrating when the Chairman continued shredding any other clothing Alec brought over for the duration of a week. It was only after an apology coupled with a heaping plate of fatty tuna that the Chairman returned to snuggling instead of shredding.

 

“Did you have fun?” Magnus asked as Alec flopped down next to him on the sofa. Alec leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Magnus’ lips.

 

“I did,” Alec said with a smile, burying his face in Magnus’ neck, “Even though they all kept trying to get me drunk.”

 

He felt rather than saw Magnus giggle, “I’ve always heard that cryptids can only be found when you’re not looking for them.”

 

Alec looked up and saw the playful glint in Magnus’ eyes, “Is that so?”

 

“It is,” Magnus replied, throwing his book aside and crawling onto Alec’s lap, “And I have it on good authority that I’m not looking for any urban legends in my bedroom.”

 

Alec grinned and stood up abruptly, gripping Magnus’ thighs firmly, “Something tells me you’ll find one.”

 

“Well then, Alexander,” Magnus purred, “Why don’t you show me just how legendary you are?”

 

* * *

 

Later that night while lying in bed, Magnus summoned a gallon of red velvet ice cream from the freezer and two spoons. He handed one to Alec and dug in.

 

“I can’t believe they actually think I’m unaware of what I’m like while drunk,” Alec mused, a few minutes later, between spoonfuls of ice cream.

 

“To be fair,” Magnus countered, “You didn’t even know about it until I showed you a youtube video of yourself climbing up a building one-handed.”

 

Alec scowled and shoved a large scoop of ice cream into his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my pal cas for the line "drunk alec is a cryptid that should remain unobserved"
> 
> my tumblr is [ sleepylightwood ](https://sleepylightwood.tumblr.com/)


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